Bon soir, mes amis! The special feelings of Christmas are rolling in like an avalanche. From the Christmas tunes on the radio to the endless Hallmark Christmas movies, the ache to bake is making me giddy! So many cookies, so little time…
But also around the holidays, I get a different sort of ache; an ache that stems from perpetual unhappiness. It is the ‘best time of the year,’ as they say, but it just isn’t that way for everyone. I love Christmas and the holiday season because it makes me remember all of the happy, wonderful, nostalgic Christmases of the past. As a child, I remember crawling around pretending to be a kitty, when I looked up at our fiberoptic angel on the tree; I used to sit beneath the tree and stare up at it as if it were the Empire State Building, but so much more beautiful. I used to pretend to talk to her, too. That angel, with the rainbow flashing wings, granted wishes and watched over us at Christmastime. I remember walking around stores and talking to Santa in my head, telling him all the things I wouldn’t mind opening on Christmas day. Then on Christmas morning, my brother and I would wake up to the most spectacular mountain of presents just waiting to be ripped apart.
My family is a broken one, so Christmas is always times 2 now. I usually take a deep breath and push it to the back burner, but I will admit that it is difficult. It is hard to get over a divorce for any family member. It’s hard to move past it and accept all of the changes that occur. It’s hard not to miss how things used to be. But…it is better how we are now. I truly believe this is where we are meant to be. It sucks sometimes, being in a rent house and having our family apart some weeks. I look past it all, reminding myself of how lucky I am to be where I am today, even with some heartache. I am blessed.
The worst part is that I feel like I’m failing at my job around Christmas. My job, I know, is to make people feel wanted and to make people feel happy. I want these things myself, so I should share the same with everyone else. I might just be a cashier right now, but I’d like to think I make some people’s days better just because I smile and spend one moment giving them my undivided attention. What more could anyone want? I can’t help everyone feel better. And it hurts. Sometimes the negativity that comes from so many people and so many directions is overwhelming, impenetrable. It’s pressure just makes me want to explode. Those feelings of loss and loneliness return and slam me right in the face. It discourages me, makes me feel worthless.
But Jesus Christ was born in this season. It was a miracle in itself. He came to bring light to the world, to dispel the darkness that has swallowed this Earth whole. It lurks behind every corner and under our beds; in our closets and sometimes in the people we are confronted with in daylight. It can disguise itself in plain sight. But our Savior has come to give us a staircase leading right up to safety, belonging, and the ultimate happiness.
This season, help me in my mission to make as many people happy as possible. Smile, share a compliment, buy someone lunch. What can you do to make one person’s day? Maybe you’ll begin to find that other’s can also make you happy in your darkest moments. That’s one thing this holiday season is about, right? I will do my best to give all you a happy moment in your day as well.
Enough heavy talk, on to the cocoa! As most of my returning readers may know, I have a thing for coffee. And by ‘thing,’ I mean next-to-obsession. Alas, I have come up with the Café au Chocolat, to honor my state’s and my French heritage. Allons-y!
- 2 tsp Cocoa Powder
- 3 1/2 tsp Sugar
- small pinch Salt
- 1/2 cup Milk
- 1/2 cup Instant Dark Roast Coffee (already made)
Make your instant coffee ahead of time so you can just add it in. Like a few cocoas before, combine all of your dry ingredients into your choice of mug, and mix in a splash of milk.
After adding in the rest of your milk and coffee, give it a stir and pop it in the microwave for 1 minute – 1 minute and 20 seconds.
Then you’re ready to sip away!
Coffee and chocolate are my two favorite foods/beverages/whatever you want to call it, and together? Well, a little sip of heaven.
If you have any recipes you’d like to share any of your favorite holiday recipes, feel free to comment below! I wish all of you happiness and warmth. For all of you out there with seasonal heartaches, look to Him for strength. He gives you strength when you need it.
Lots of love,